Thursday, September 27, 2007
My current want
... is to move back to Colorado. There, the weather is warm and dry, the mountains stand guard, good friends who are closer than family call and come over. The sense of community is so strong, there are girls I can coach, the living is easy (easier, anyway).
There, I felt more like myself. I was less mature but arguably more fun, though probably more intense (yes, I think that's possible).
I'd love to go back. But I also just want to feel settled somewhere. I want us all to be content enough in a community that we want to stay for a really long time.
I've been reading and talking to people lately who seem to have such a smart philosophy. One's mantra is: Choose happiness. It sounds so simple. But it must work. He and his wife are the happiest people I know.
The author Anne Lamott speaks and writes a lot about faith and grace and overcoming all the awful stuff in life. She says it's only when you're in the abyss that life begins. Do what really matters to you, she says. Because we don't have time for anything else.
That's great advice. But we have a mortgage and daycare and bills just like everyone else.
I've decided to do what I can, though, to simplify. I've been slowly getting rid of stuff we don't need and trying to spend more time doing nothing but watching my son drive a tiny orange pickup truck over the cat's tail. I'm trying to really see him, to just be there for him, a lot more.
Having Rye put some of my ambitions in perspective.
I mean, what better thing is there than lying in the grass with the wind softly blowing and your 2-year-old laying his tummy on yours and laughing?